


First Off, They Glitter...

by orphan_account



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Discord is the new Stephenie Meyer, I said Fluttershy/Twilight Sparkle but it only hints at the ship, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic - Freeform, Other, Twilight as a form of mind control, because friendshiping is the best shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-04
Updated: 2012-02-04
Packaged: 2017-10-30 14:23:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/332707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Twilight Sparkle discovers the Twilight books for the first time. But is there something going on behind the scenes of those incredibly tasteless pieces of literature?</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Off, They Glitter...

Twilight Sparkle tore her eyes away from the last chapter of Catching Fire to acknowledge the frenzied knocking on her front door. Somepony wanted in, and they wanted in NOW. She opened the door with a swift flick of magic and Pinkie Pie tumbled in, still buzzing from a sugar rush, and instantly affixed her eyes on the novel that was laid out in front of Twilight’s hooves.

“What’cha reading, Twilight?” she asked.

“Oh, just the second novel of the Hunger Games. What’s the occasion, Pinkie?”

“No-thing,” she beamed. “I just wanted to invite you to my New Year’s after-party party. Who needs one party when you can have three?”

“Oh, that sounds fun. I’ll go as soon as I finish my book. I’m on the last chapter,” Twilight Sparkle admitted.

“Oh, I know a great book you could read!” Pinkie said, her voice rising with excitement. “It’s even named after you, so you know it’s made for you!”

“There’s a book named after me?” Twilight Sparkle asked.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of the Twilight series!” Pinkie squealed. 

“Well, I’ve heard of it…”

“You have to read it! It must be in this library of yours somewhere!” Pinkie began digging through piles of books excitedly, amidst cries of “don’t touch that” and “careful” from Twilight.

“Here!” A large stack of books were dumped unceremoniously in front of Twilight Sparkle. “You better read quickly! My party’s tomorrow!”

[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]

Pinkie’s party was in full swing. Everypony was chatting and having fun, Derpy Hooves was swinging from the chandelier, and apparently somepony had spiked the punch with hot sauce again. 

Suddenly, the door burst open, and Twilight walked in, seething mad. The music switched off abruptly with a vinyl-scratching sound as even the DJ turned to hear what she had to say. She walked up to the hostess, picked up a cup full of punch using magic, and dumped it over her head.

“I read them. All of them.” She said.

“Well, did you like them?” asked Pinkie, shaking her wet mane out of her eyes.

“I HATED THEM! First off, they glitter! What the heck kinda vampires glitter? You have to be kidding me! Second off, you could have put two epileptic bullfrogs in the same room and they’d have more chemistry than Edward and Bella. Third off, if you put Tank in front of a keyboard and gave him an hour, he could write a better plot by mashing his face against the keys repeatedly than the plot of all four books combined!” 

“Geez, Twilight, don’ get all worked up, it’s only a coupl’a vampire books,” said Applejack.

“I am getting worked up, and no, these are not just books! These books could mean the destruction of Ponyville if I don’t stop them!” 

“Wow, she really is serious, isn’ she?” Applejack said to Pinkie Pie. “Who knew that vampires could cause such a problem.”

[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]

The next morning, Twilight Sparkle was out with a vengeance, searching for any trace of those books. She had already used magic to destroy the library copies, laughing as they disintegrated into ash. She had used the most powerful fire spell she could find- a bit much, she reflected, as they were made of paper, and she was exhausted now- but she was glad that that was taken care of. 

She was broken out of her reverie by Applebloom tapping her lightly on the flank. “Um, Ms. Twilight? Can we hold our book club in your library?”

“Aww, sure. I’m always glad to help out you guys.” She smiled, her previous fears all but gone. 

Applebloom retreated, calling out to her friends, as Twilight Sparkle made her way back to the library to sweep up the ash. 

It was 2:00 when they knocked on the door. She had finished cleaning up the mess she had made earlier and was ready to greet the Cutie Mark Crusaders at the door. 

They all said their polite greetings and laid out their books. Twilight eyed the books suspiciously. “What are you guys reading?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re reading Breaking Dawn, the last book in the Twilight series.” Scootaloo said excitedly. “Have you read it? You must have.”

Twilight stared at them in shock. She wanted to rip the books away from them, wanted to tear them apart page by page with the strongest rending magic she had. But all she could do was scream, “Twilight is for losers!” and run up to her room. She was upset, but she didn’t know why. Reading those books had stirred up discontent in her, discontent that had been safely buried ever since she was a filly. And she thought she knew who had caused it.

[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]

Late that night, Twilight slipped out the door and headed down the long, winding path. It was the kind of darkness that seemed tangible to her, lit only by a thin crescent moon. She meant to seek advice from Princess Celestia, but got lost along the way and found herself yet again in that maze of hedges where she had first encountered Discord.

“I can’t be here accidentally,” Twilight mused aloud. “Whoever you are, come out!”

“Oh, but Twilight! You knew who I was from the start!” cried a voice from above her, grating, like a snapping violin string. 

“Discord?” Twilight asked. “Those books were your doing, weren’t they? Come out and face me!” At this last sentence her voice rose to a crescendo, then dropped off abruptly, the darkness settling around her like a shroud.

“Boo.” Discord said flatly. He touched one tip of his claw to her head. “Now run along now. You wouldn’t want to keep your friends waiting.”

All desire to fight drained from Twilight’s body at the touch of that metallic claw, replaced with a mute, blunt feeling, as if she was a puppet on strings. 

She headed back to Ponyville. Discord slipped back into the shadows, disappearing like steam into the cold night air. 

[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]

“Hi, Twilight!” called Pinkie Pie. 

“Tell me, do you still have your copy of Breaking Dawn?” Twilight Sparkle asked, her voice toneless. 

“Twilight, I thought you said you hated those books.” Pinkie said suspiciously.

“But I never got to finish it. I want to see how it ends,” she said. 

“Oh, allright. Whatever you say!” she cried, and went upstairs to find her copy. When she dumped the obscenely thick novel in front of Twilight Sparkle, she instantly picked it up, her stream of magic flickering a bit, and retreated with it into the library. 

“I wonder what was up wit’ her?” asked Applejack. “And I reckon it’s ‘bout time we find out.”

“You don’t need to do any more investigating, Applejack,” said a soft voice from behind them. Fluttershy gently swooped down, a nervous smile on her face. 

“Fluttershy? What could you possibly do to help?” asked Rainbow Dash, landing behind her and knocking over a few potted plants with the force of her impact.

“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy instantly said.

“Settle down, everypony, let the little lady speak. Now, Fluttershy, what exactly went on?” Applejack asked.

“Well, I, um…”

“Spit it out!” cried Rainbow Dash.

“I saw Discord in the forest last night!” she cried. “And Twilight was with him! I think maybe he lured her into the forest somehow…”

“First of all, what the hell is he doing back in Ponyville, and, second of all, what the hell were you doing in the forest that late anyway?” 

“Well, I had been catching fireflies with Twilight the other day, and I wanted to let them go, but I realized that I had caught them in the woods and if I let them go in my backyard, they’d never find their way back home. And then I heard Twilight yelling at someone, and when I went to go investigate, I saw Discord!”

“Well, isn’t that just the biggest load a’” Applejack started, but stopped when she heard Twilight exit her library. Her coat was completely pale gray, and she had a lackluster expression on her face. 

“I finished the book,” she said.

“Well?” asked Pinkie Pie, oblivious.

“It was good,” she said. “I may have to read the series again.” Her body shimmered as a sheen of darker gray covered it. 

Fluttershy turned to her friends. “I think I know what to do.”

[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]

The door to Twilight Sparkle’s library burst open, but to her surprise, Fluttershy stood there, carrying a thick book on top of her head. 

“Um, I’m sorry to interrupt, but I thought you might want to read this. The library doesn’t own a copy. I checked.”

“Is that Harry Potter?” asked Twilight. “I’ve never read the last one.” A glimmer of recognition alighted behind the curse.

Without a word, Fluttershy placed the book in front of her. Twilight glanced through the pages, using her hooves to clumsily turn them as her magic was all but gone. Slowly, the color returned to her body until she was her original self again.

“Can I, uh, have the book back if you’re done?” Fluttershy asked.

“No.” Twilight said. “I want to see how it ends.”

[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]

Discord was terribly bored. He had written the books that would cause unrest throughout Equestria. Now all he had to do was write bad mary-sue fanfiction for good novels. Yes, that was beneath him, but if that was what it took…

At once, he heard the noise of somepony crashing through the brush. Six ponies, to be exact. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy swooped in from above, and Rarity, Pinkie and Applejack burst through the bushes. Twilight Sparkle led the way, and with a mighty cry and a flash of light, Discord was sealed away. 

[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]=[]

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned not to take literary advice from Pinkie Pie. 

“Are you sure you should really be writing that?” asked Spike.

“Oh, right. Sorry.” Said Twilight. Spike crumpled up the paper and started over.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that everypony has different tastes in literature. What one pony might take to be the next Shakespeare, another might see as Discord’s plot for vengeance. It depends on the pony, and just because a book is named after me, doesn’t mean I have to like it.

Your faithful student,  
Twilight Sparkle.

**Author's Note:**

> I felt obliged to put a pairing, so I put Twilight\Fluttershy, even though the fic only hints at the ship. I don't ship anyone in MLP. I just think they're ll really good friends.


End file.
